This Blog's Consumer Warranty Has Expired - 2 Years Anniversary

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It was getting tight to my Facebook notes and since this feature fell into disuse since removing the 420 or 480 character limit on status updates, I searched for some more prominent place to put my brand new FCE certificate into practice, since all of my friends speak Czech, therefore there's no point in English statuses nor notes. I revived the idea of having a webpage, but more like some long English opinion articles no one cares about. I could spam people asking stupid questions with links them, since these articles would be also stupid. Also a place was needed for my linguistic inventions, like "TUMAASZ, HUSE!" and "Speling niids tu bii riformd" was needed for more detailed specification and public reachability via simple Google search. As a SEO substituion I have my Dictionary, a whole compilation of Czech puns and possible loanwords, so if someone types a typo or googles for their new invented word, it'll send them probably there, since Čeština 2.0 is only a small pocket dictionary compared to Urban Dictionary. And becuause it's Google, then why not it's Blogger as the services are going to be interoperable and I didn't know a thing of CSS, which apparently obsoletes the M from HTML. And JavaScript obselotes the T from it, leaving us only with a Hyper Language instead of HyperText Markup Language. Finally, the bright blue Facebook theme burned my eyes in night so I needed a profile that could be viewed at these times and save my cellphone battery a little bit.


So far there have been these series:

Fragments of Facebook Philosophy 1 ~ 8 (9 in writing)
Getman's Adventures 0 ~ 1 (2 in writing)
Poem compilations (2012, 2013, 2015)


And there are rougly these categories:

Linguistic Inventions (no numbered parts)
Opinions not Cared about (no numbered parts)
Reports (like this one)
Dada and spam (DESU, Lorém i psům, I was bored)
Poems (only occasionally German section)
Stories (describing the imaginary parallel universe)


And these labels:

Articles - this blog's exclusive bullshit
Poetry - mostly German bullshit, I like creating poems in language I don't know that much about
Prose - fictional bullshit, sometimes sent for review to school compos or writing exams, it's still my intellectual property that I only licenced to the school
ZOMFGWTFBBQ - crazy ideas that never "catch on" (Wikipedia style "I think no-one likes it.") and nonsensical bullshit (maybe Dada)
CZ, DE, EN - Intended for separate language feeds


Here's a graph of article frequency per month, nice ANSI:

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   JaFeMrApMyJnJlAuSeOcNoDeJaFeMrApMyJnJlAuSeOcNoDeJaFeMa
   |    2   0   1   4     ||     2   0   1   5    || 2016

Jan 2014 - Facebook notes backport
May 2015 - 1st Getman's Adventures
Sep/Oct 2015 - No ideas and fixing my once-great PC
Jan 2016 - Number of articles including this one, 10000 views hit
Feb/Mar 2016 - Estimated



Concerning my electronic devices, I find it really strange my cellphone from 2014 has 2*4 ARM cores and Android games look like from PS3 on it and run just about fine, but my netbook from 2011 has only 2 Atom cores and almost no GPU. GMA 3150 is not a real GPU, it can barely run Counter-Strike 1.6 at 60 FPS on non-trivial maps. Do you even still have a PC that struggles with cs_KVARTAL? Me yes, I suck just for even using XP and I know it. I can still troll you with Latin 2 from the MS-DOS Editor in the Czech edition. You'll have to set font to Terminal 14 to even read it (writing is still screwed up) if you simply try to open it in Notepad. Doesn't this mean IBM-PC by itself (Wintel, BIOS) is dead and retro and now we use various crippled Unix-like distros like iOS or Android? Time to get PS4 or XB1 (PCs not adhering to 1981 specs) and hack FreeBSD (not that bastardized distro in PS4), respectively OpenSUSE (reportedly best NTFS compatibility) on them.

Before I finished this post, the "10000" post served as a placeholder. On orthodox Christmas, this number of total hits was hit. When I 1st I noticed it, it was 10030. This high amount of viwes over all the time might also come from prefetching and auditing. On average, this blog is getting 5000 views per year. In last week there even have been more than 100 views per a single day, mostly owing to constantly refreshing until the total pageview counter exceeds myriad. I am one of the few people who use this word for 10000. Because I'm lazy and procrastinating, by the time this article will be up (and 1st person other than me reads it), it'll surely reach 11000.

10000

07.01.2015 AD

01/07/2015 AD

PAMÁTNÝ DEN POSLEDNÍHO PŘEKROČENÍ ŘÁDU DESÍTKOVÉ SOUSTAVY.

Nebo si snad myslíte, že tahle hnusná stránka bude mít vůbec někdy 100000 celkových zobrazení?

MEMORABLE DAY OF THE LAST DECIMAL SYSTEM ORDER TRANSCENDING.

Or you think this awful site will ever have 100000 total pageviews?

(This post was prepared half a year in advance, though.)

Na tomhle blogu jsou blbosti. I tak jsem zavítají jacísi boti, kteří se snaží udělat reklamu na jiné blogy tím, že se budu dívat odkud to přišlo.

Aby to bylo jasné:

Za celou "mrskou", jak napsal 1 o mé další tvorbě neinformovaný anonymní jedinec v afektu, dobu existence tohohle skladiště sem přišlo tolik dementů, že už mám přes

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zobrazení stránek celkem! Proč sem vy kreténi vůbec lezete, když tu jsou samý hovadiny? A to ikdyž ještě ke všemu nemám ani pořádný SEO, protože je to tu kámen na kameni a bordel jak v EU?



And now things for those who's 1st language is something more globally usable than Czech.

In case there was any nigger:

And in case Asians feel left off:

In short:

***F*U*C*K*** ***O*F*F*,*** ***E*V*E*R*Y*O*N*E*!***

Básnické odpadky za rok 2015 / Gedichtsabfall von 2015 / Poem trash from 2015

Short poems that weren't each long enough to make a sensible article. There are some from 2014, becuause I was too lazy (again) to compile or extend them. This blog's really gonna die soon if I don't think of something I could serve in batches.

There's more coming, a Gangnam Style inspired song "Type it on the Typewritwer" (you can imagine what's that about) and a whole set of poetry for Getman's Adventures S2E2, as well as a 100-line poem about re-entry to real life phase from 1998 to $deathyear (estimated 2070), which will be told as reconstruction of the portal. From there there'll be a proper time machine constructed and return to 2230's new USA, where parallel 3rd part began, will happen. Then revisiting colonized planets after thousands of years. Yeah, the timeline is very messy and I know sci-fi readers love it. No girly emotional storyless crap, just plain philosophy and inapproriate humor.

Almost certain are some poems from my upcoming brand copied Semitic Japanese (Getman Semitic Language), a language as harsh as German, as sugoi as Japanese, as analytic as Mandarin, as ambiguous as English, as transfixive as Arabic, as primitive as Piraha, as pronounceable as Javanese and as weird as !Xoo.

According to my count, this should be the 100th published article. But then there's what do you exactly mean by an article, do you count pages or don't count that unnamed 1st introduction article, "13th Post on the 13th", "EYERAEP BIACZZ!!!!111", "This blog needs moar DESU", "This site needs more Lorem Ipsum", "Tato stránka potřebuje více Lákámí vůněhulás", "I was Bored" and "Nope, this site was not hacked"? Without these 8, the 100th post would still not be even in draft as of February 2016.



EN - Capitalistic West

Written probably in an English class, originally intended to be 2x as much long, containing a drop with "tear down the wall". 1st world speaks to the 2nd one about it's communist regimes.


Our nuclear weapons are the best,
we are the capitalistic West.
Your planned economy is unresponsive,
in what the hell do you believe?

Our glorious freedom is the best,
we are the democratic West.
If you remember of Hitler,
you are not much better.



DE - Ekoterroristische (Maischmasch/Májšmaš)

Got acknowledged that Mácha's Máj (May) was originally in German and attempted to reconstruct. Turned into a parody and then a wholly different thing quite quickly.


Es war später Abend - ersten Mai.
Abendsmai - ein Liebeszeit.
Aus Moldau sprung ein Hai
und es war von Burg nicht weit.
Über Liebe flusterte stille Maschine,
gespurten Baum liegte auf der Grund,
die Maschinen, die Menschen diene
behalten sich wie ärgerend Hund.
Die Seen gegiftete von Industrie
schmertzte unser Natur schwer.
Nie, nie, nie, nie, nie, nie, nie, nie, nie, und nie!
Wofür haben wir das Gewehr?

Irrend durch blaue Himmel
wo ein Rauch von Häuser war - immer,
In meinen Luftkissenfahrzeug mit Aale,
übersehend schöne Moldauthale,
sah ich meistens nichts unten,
so ich laß Nachrichten.



CZ - Když se Kvintě B rozezvučí srdce (2014)

Some school activity, I'm now in Septima (7th grade counted from Junior High School).


Když se má psát práce písemná,
když její obsah je věc záhadná.
Když profesor se blbě tváří,
když se toto děje již v září.
Když je výklad kupodivu zajímavý,
když si zapáleně všichni sešit tmaví.
Když s sebou někdo do školy přinese zajímavou věc,
když přes závislost na internetu nahrnou se k němu přec.

Když se školním rokem končí,
třebaže plni únavy.
Když školní docházka neskončí,
potenciál zábavy.
Když hodina odpadne,
není toto závada,
když v jídelně se stane
špatných věcí náprava.
Když povyrazit si do restaurace
dohodnout se podaří,
když při polední pauze více
jídelna už nevaří.
Když ale srdce, orgán centrální,
u nás není, je věc banální,
když jsme jako hipíci,
nepotřebujeme radnici.



CZ - Květoslavo Polární Záře

Unused Czech excerpt from the still unfinished English 2nd episode of Getman's Adventures. Explains why May(flower) Aurora got face like Allah - none.


Květoslavo Polární Záře,
neměl jsem ještě nudy
dostatek na tvorbu tvé tváře.
Zatím tu těžím rudy.

Tys květ světa mé mysli,
pšenici mi tu žerou sysli.
Hezká, jak jen budu moct vymyslet,
inspiraci najdu v 1 z ghett.



CZ - Kanibalův nákup

Partly dictated to my sister as a touch typing practice. Contains certain references to my diet, cat and an old Czech Christmas carol parody.


Kočka leží na stole,
vedle mrtvé batole.
Vedle okna musí stát
nějaká vlajka a vlát.
Ve slevě byly velké brambůrky,
koupil jsem jich tuny na splátky.
Mam doma velké kulové,
hledám dřevo jalové.
Kočka toho hodně ví,
ale stejně mi to nepoví.
Musím koupit draho gril,
jet pro něj přes Černobyl.
Nemám benzín pro objetí,
rakovina na mě přiletí.
Záření je věc dost škodná,
velká rychlost přes něj vhodná.
Jak tehdy Valaši narazil jsem do stromu,
mám rakovinu, ještě otřes mozku k tomu.
Toto je konec básně,
doufám, že máš se krásně,
a možná brzo i mého života,
kůra stromu je velká dobrota.

DE - Scheißendorf, der schönsten Arsch der Welt

Parody on a song that was popular in Czechia in about 2008, released on Taneční liga (Dance League) #102 along with a Czech cover of it. Written on a free Vienna Airport Wi-Fi that is 10 Mbps, which is 3 Mbps faster than my shitty O2 ADSL. Czechia is also such an asshole of the world, in terms of technology. UPC's 120 Mbps is unreliable and aggregation is sensible since it takes like 4 people to occupy almost entire 500 Mbps optical link capacity of entire apartment block.


Lebend in SAdW,
du kannst mitbringen einen Zelt.
Wenn es ist dir langweilig,
Die AdW ist hier für dich.
Und dieses Ort heißt Scheißendorf,
hier ist der Abfall unser Kopf.
Einen Dorf der gibt es gar nicht,
in Realität ist nur Dächtenlicht.
Wenn du nach der gekommen wirst,
bekommst du viele großen Würst'.
Denn endlich wirst du zurfrieden
sein, weil du willst hier bleiben.

Du lebst in SAdW,
doch das ist SAdW.
Dieses Ort ist die AdW,
aber die SAdW.

Sesame DisCredit

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/china-has-made-obedience-to-the-state-a-game-a6783841.html

Every chart has 2 sides. There are cases where the good side is somewhat clear, such as sport, computing power or science, but also there are cases where you can't say if something's bad or good and the real losers are in the middle because they don't stand out in any way. Such is a matter of artistic expression and opinion. There's no correct way to think or feel and neither there's a bad way. Mainstream pop is made for money, therefore it falls in the middle to make the most money out of most people. But I didn't buy any music in my entire lifetime, it's all on Youtube and torrents, as it was on Napster before Metallica destroyed it. Even English is sane enough for "mediocre" to be a negative adjective. With games it might be also ambiguous - either you make most frags or points or get banned on every single server. You still play or have played the game, and you can as well play with the game, as is installing mods and cheating, sometimes called debugging. No-one has the right to tell you how to exactly live or think in either real or virtual world. I didn't pay for games either, to buy something on Steam I am supposed to be 18 (at least in Czechia) and that's 2 months away. Besides pirating is convenient - crack means no need for Internet connection or CD in drive while you play singleplayer. As well as adblockers are, they save your bandwidth and make the sites load a little faster and the browser perform significantly better by not loading 10x Flash player or a GIF or whatever is used as Flash was obsoleted by HTML5, CSS3 and JavaScript. And you too are performing better if you have concentration problems.

Now China instills Free-to-Play machanics onto his citizens through Sesame Credit, operated by companies having share in Blizzard and Epic. If you do what goverment wants, you get benefits like fast internet, job opportunities and even gifts like college tuition (or study permit as these are free in most countries). This works on your internet life on social networks, crawling all the way through your online identity, like Facebook, Microsoft, Google and Amazon shared all the user data with themselves and the government. There's a score, just a simple number that decides how you are treated. Having friends with low score lowers your score and having friends with high score probably increases. This is very similar to your bank account balance, only the government decides directly on that to determine what to give to you or deprive you of.

But ... what if you don't want to be online, work or have all these "benefits" since you simply don't agree with the China's doctrine? There's an opposite end of the chart - who does the least "right" things, who is so hardcore to handle slow internet and unemployment. This further widens the gap between anarchist avant-garde and Commie ass-kissers (not even patriots, if so, then *NA*tional So*ZI*alisten). Like it were 70s, old people in Czechoslovakia remember these things clearly, yet the high and low end was divided more clearly by Party membership. The socially excluded from the high end would find their friends in the low end. Here would fall many Buddhists aswell, since what neverlasting wordly benefits would they want. And I see part of this becoming the Light Side of the Force or Hippies or whatever peace-and-love thing you know of.

Subsequently, by 2030 there would be a paraller culture with its own internet and jobs refusing anyone with too high score. Exactly what happened to Czechoslovakia, only 100* copied tapes are 100* recompressed, sent, shared or also copied OGGs. Yes, they'll use non-spying open source software, like Linux, LibreOffice, Midori, XMMS, and what's most important - Blu-Rays so Chinese HDDVD players won't read them at all and not a single ass-kisser would to lower their score by buying a Blu-Ray player and Blu-Rays, including a PlayStation 4. Normal HDDVD would work too, but no-one produces the players now since the companies behind it lost the format war.

Bygone are the days of executions for inloaylity immediately after the Commie takeover. That means you will have just your life and almost nothing else when you don't do what the doctrine deems good. Quite Liberlandish it seems - let live, don't give. The people are all on their own, in the end the good will work together and the bad will be excommunicated to the high, oppresing, disobeyed end. What about the middle? Those will have to decide from which side they will receive the benefits. Be it better internet or a real community of caring people? Even ISIS member tells you in one reportage they are closer to the God by having harsh conditions. Similarly, those who collaborate with the totalitarian regime are companions of Fire and should abide therein eternally. Or belong to the Dark Side if you are that Star Wars nerd who just completed the 18-hour marathon. You in America and Western Europe have Netflix, we have The Pirate Bay and Ulož.to because Czechia is such an asshole of the world that our Internet speeds wouldn't handle 1080p streaming in Blu-Ray quality via ADSL, were Netflix introduced here. Even YOU.BO still hasn't been a subject of copyright strike from all the Youtubers it stole videos from. UPC isn't gonna save us with reportedly 120 Mbps, the aggregation is shit for large prefab appartment complexes, you must watch early in morning, yet there are some asshole bosses who think jobs should start at 7 AM and people very desperate for money they'd work even on weekends and holidays from 6 AM. This still dates 30 years back to commies and then say capitalists extorionate the proletariate when the same thing was in fact done by the Communist Party.

The worthiness to be in that low end community will be simply calculated by a formula of RSC = (1/s)*100, where s is the Sesame Credit score. That means the lesser the allegiance for Chinese government, the bigger elegibility for being a recognized member of the Alternative Culture. Assuming the score wouldn't drop below zero and the starting point would be something like 50. I'm not sure if there will be fractional values, but if not then having 1 or zero will mean you can be a leader or respected.

Example table for non-negative SC:
SesCred| 100 | 10 |  5 |  2 |  1  | .75 |  .5 | .25 | .125 |  0 |
-------+-----+----+----+----+-----+-----+-----+-----+------+----+
RSC(%) | 1   | 10 | 20 | 50 | 100 | 125 | 200 | 400 |  800 | oo |

But if it could be negavive, then let i be the initial value you get when you sign up to somewhere. FSC = -(s-i), F is for flipped. Your initial value is zero in FSC and it's up to you if you'll get Communist or Communist. There the government's Communism is not the same as cultural communism, think about music in Jamaica. They use wax vinyls enduring only few plays because it's expected that someone will remix them in 3 months as they become outdated after few parties.

Example table for signed SC, i = 500:
SC |1000| 750|500|250| 10| 1 | 0 | -1|-10|-250|-500|-750|1000|
---+----+----+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+----+----+----+----+
FSC|-500|-250| 0 |250|490|499|500|501|510| 750|1000|1250|1500|

Of course there would be spies from both fractions, as well as missionaries. Sesame Credit farming is faily simple, as well as losing it. That would allow the ass-kissers to infiltrate between the rebels, hippies, punks or whatever and submit large lists of them for persecution. But when one has got nothing, can someone take more from him? No, therefore the only thing China can do is excommunicate them, therefore they can legally move to Taiwan, which is also a Chinese Republic, but not "People's", even tough China thinks it is. Only complication there is the Traditional Chinese, which means many characters will be unreadable in small print. And that would drastically decrease the population count in China, way more than the 1 child and "free" abortion politics. More ghost cities, more empty highways only tearing land apart like in North Korea and still the same level of smog.

I was always against reporting people for banal things like children in kindergarten do. Like they were too weak to assert themselves so they hid behind authorities. Getting more points for reporting post which complains about omnipresent smog is immoral, asocial and damnworthy. And that's why the people on the lower half of the leaderboard will eschew those, which are willing to sign their souls to someone even worse than Satan. Even Nazis were like that and Commies at us kept telling how evil were these and they were the "liberators", when in fact, Communism is as totalitarian as Facism, even look. Those who tell are companinions of Fire and will abide therein eternally.

When something like this happened in the Soviet Bloc, the Communist party had only 20 years of life left. If the Invisible Hand of the Market is with us, China will be democratic by 2050, but it wouldn't mean anything like it did in Czechia and Slovakia. The lower ass-kissers would just make a putsch after another massacre like Tiamannen 1989 and China be like Obama's USA - you are "free" but not really and at least you can have some guns. The old tyrrants become oligarchs, which manipulate people thru ads and kill democracy again. And then, why are there these stupid people who vote for whoever gives them a donut and tells populistic lies? Yes, I mean Andrej Babiš AKA Babisconi, the current (2014~2018) Czech minister of finance. If people in Czechia don't do anything and dully elect him as a president (direct presidental elections are really dangerous) when he enlists as a candidate, he'll make Czechia a dictatorship and "the Czech Republic" will be no longer an acceptable name, as with People's Republic of China or Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Alternative culture's banned bard Karel Kryl (illegal to sing his songs in presence of Party members who would report you to get benefits, this was a great advertisement in effect) has managed to make a song named Demokracie about this in his late life. I estimate 1993 because 1st McDonald's in Czechoslovakia opened in March 1992, being mentioned as "strejda" (uncle) and Karel Kryl died in March 1994.

I don't play online games. I'm immune to these just because I don't want to spend all my money on World of Warcraft when I could spend it on my GF, had I one, or on better PC, instruments, vehicles, food and last but not least, some (preferably mechanized) agriculture. One of my long term dreams is to have a personal aircraft - be it a glider, wingsuit, jetpack, helicopter or jet. The main purpose of this is to escape the traffic jams and other ground level travel restraints. Expensive cars are lame, bitches need more than this nowadays. Someone in the bar has a Bugatti Veyron and McLaren P1 and would you told you have multiple jetpacks, helicopter or a jet, all his girls would be up to you. Even then, adrenaline and dopamine strenghten the loves because the brain confuses the sources - your girls and the situation. So that golddiggers will really love you and not your adrenaline sports nor your aircrafts. Getting a pilot licence is way more difficult and whichever girl does't appreciate that is plain stupid. Only things needed are more heliports and accessible flat roofs.

Also on that agriculture, I'd like to be external supplier independent, that is produce most of the vegetables and fruit by myself and let others to fry me the chickens or milk the cows. In Buddhism there's nothing about buying meat nor weapons, only forbidden is to sell it. Fuck vegans, I want my pizza with cheese and fuck vegetarians too, my cat wants there also some ham. And I eat with my cat because she comes to eat with me. Or chicken kebab, I like Dürüms more than McWraps, there's more for the same price of around 90 Kč ($4). Some people call this a gyros (generic name), but there's no tzatziki nor tomatoes nor fries nor pork for Dürüm kebab to qualify as a real Greek Gyros. This is a case when I'd rather support those immigrants than some fat capitalist. Vietnamese do nohing ethically wrong with that weed and grocery stores, Turks do delicious kebabs, and Ukrainians do cheap bricklaying without too much price discussions.

That has departed pretty much from agriculture, I intended to move on economically self-sufficient houses driven only by renewable resources, but I wrote about immigrants again. Those houses are things people should buy and not rent some appartments and hope they have enough money each month. In middle ages almost everyone was alive from their own fields and animals. Urbanization was wrong, even workers realized that when they got fired because of new machines. There's some sanity in London, where even the terraced houses have some gardens for certain fruits. There should be those trees in the public for people to have something to eat in other places than shops. Also fossil-fuel-only vehicles should be banned since the Paris climate conference, even an adaptive E85 program for car's control unit conforms with this. If you buy oil products, you risk supporting Islamistan (my name for ISIS). Alcohol is omnipresent especially in Eastern Europe, so it shouldn't be problem to produce E85. Potatoes are less demanding than rapeseed, in Czechia we have Tuzemský rum from it that EU told us to call Tuzemák (Domestic thing) because potato Rum is allegedly not real Rum. To me, it tastes almost the same with those 37.5% vol. That's not everything that had to rename, Špekáčky were in danger and Pomazánkové máslo had to drop máslo and add tradiční, now it's Tradiční pomazánkové. The only reason V4 (those who are "heartless" towards immigrants) is still in EU are the dotations for new highways, which were left behind when 3rd Reich falled and when Soviet Bloc has fallen apart, therefore there are frequent traffic jams (due to light signals I think) and holes in roads, which are cheap self-maintaining substitutions of speed bumpers. And the ecoterrorists don't make catching up with the developed West easier, as well as people refusing to sell their land to the government in compensation for another land of the same area. Anyway, bicycles are regaining their popularity they had in WW2 when Nazis were taking all the gas for their tanks so maybe there'll be some cyclohighways, since hard-core cyclists often ride as fast as cars and conventional speed limits don't apply for them since there's no engine other than feet. Possibly there's a Civil War paraller in V4 vs. EU, as in who can deport immigrants and who can command others to take them.